George Emm, Pastor

Pastor Emm was the one who taught my baptism classes, at Willowdale Seventh-day Adventist Church in Toronto. I remember as a 10-year old having a conversation with him saying that I wanted to be baptized but I wasn’t good enough yet. With sound theology and wisdom, he responded. “We don’t have to be better before we come to Jesus; we come to Jesus and He makes us better.”

Today, as a more mature Christian, I realize the truth of Pastor Emm’s words. It is as we live and walk with Jesus that we become more like Him. In a world that conditions us to believe we must earn the things we receive, receiving salvation as a gift is so counter-cultural.

The Girl We Bullied Once

Today, I don’t even remember her name. I can’t find her in our school photos. Maybe she came partway through the school year and left early. I was in grade five. I shamefully remember that one day after school she was in the school yard and some of us started yanking on her braids and pulling her cardigan. I have no idea what started this horrible behavior and what taunts we may have hurled.

One of teachers soon found out about the incident and called us into the classroom. Soon our hearts were broken but not because we were in “trouble.” The teacher didn’t yell at us. She expressed her disappointment and her words penetrated our little hearts. We had disappointed ourselves; we saw how good kids could do something so uncharacteristically bad. Tearfully we said we were sorry.

Oh to be able to do childhood over again with a heart of love and Christlikeness to all. I often wish I could find this girl, who is now a woman. I’d like to have a conversation with her and do something to make one day—one afternoon brighter (to try and replace the cloud we brought on her that day). If you’re reading this and can help me find her, I’d be so grateful. In the meantime, I look out for those who are bullied, and those who are the bullies, knowing that the bullies may not be bad people, but people who behave badly and can be redeemed.

Jackie Juriansz, Choir Director

It was 1972, I was in grade 9 when Mrs. Juriansz arrived at Toronto Junior Academy to be the new choir director. The problem was, she was replacing the old choir director whom I’d loved since grade four. I entered the first choir rehearsal with a disposition to not like the new teacher. However, while Mrs. Juriansz was conducting, she smiled at me and winked. That wink was the beginning an important friendship.

JJ, as some of us called her, taught me so many things just by having a presence in my life. On a choir trip she and her husband Garth (my band teacher), inspired my love for classical music during a time when it was easy for a young person to gravitate to what was not best about the music of the 70’s. JJ took to me my first Baskin and Robbins and introduced me to Rocky Road ice cream while she introduced me to life and prepared me for the rocky road that we each would experience in our own time. We often went shopping, not to buy anything, but just to hang around together..

JJ’s creativity, laughter, and zest for life, still echo on my journey. When I infrequently go to Baskin and Robbins, I order Rocky Road in her honor. I also know that investing in the lives of those younger than us can bring its own reward.

Jackie died on November 3, 2015. Age 64.

Brian Townsend, Coach

Mr. Bee, as he was called, was the physical education teacher/gymnastic coach at Toronto Junior Academy. Coaches are important in the lives of young people, not so much for the sport they teach but for the other areas they can influence.

I recall several Sabbath afternoons when a group of us would gather at Coach’s apartment. Together we chose a life topic we wanted to discuss and then each of us selected one of his books by Ellen White.* We would locate our topic in the index and then read aloud to the group what we found on the relevant pages. As young Christians we needed guidance on how to be a disciple of Jesus. After reading and discussing, reflecting and praying together, we came away with a very balanced view of how to engage with the issues facing young people who desired to live life guided by a biblical moral compass.

When Brian had been in college, he was on a gymnastic team at Andrews University called Gymnics. That influenced my decision to attend Andrews a fews years later. I wanted to be part of that witnessing team that also performed gymnastics.

Brian was murdered on Christmas Eve, 2013 in Belize where he had been serving as a missionary. Age 64.

*This American author of the late 1800’s has written many books that have helped Christians—young and old—on their spiritual journey.

Dan Kline, Coach and Teacher

Doc Kline, was one of the Gymnic coaches and also a a teacher in the Physical Education Department where I was a major.

One day in a kinesiology class, Doc was explaining the Krebs Cycle. After presenting that module, he asked if we had any questions. We had none. We were completely lost. (The Krebs Cycle is complicated. Google it.) Doc had prayed at the beginning of class, which was his custom, but now he prayed again asking that the God who created us and the Krebs Cycle would come and be our Teacher. The next time through the lecture, we got it and we had lots of questions. In the middle of the chatter, Doc paused and smiled. In that pause, in that silence, a knowing swept over the room; we recognized that we had all just been part of a Divine encounter. The Creator had stepped in to be our teacher. My prayer journey expanded that day.

Doc also taught a course in administration. During one lecture he talked about talents and then we were scheduled to have individual appointments with him to talk about our talents and how we could use them. I dreaded that appointment. I’d always had a hard time pinning down my “talents.” I didn’t play the piano (well), I was only a “choir soprano” (no solos please). I really couldn’t think of anything that I was REALLY good at. I was 18 or 19 years old and my understanding of “talents” was limited to what you could do at a talent show. As I struggled during the interview Doc said words like this: “Esther, I wish that we had a job where we could just set you down in the middle of the campus and let you interact with people. You would make them feel so welcomed, so cared for, and so loved. That is your talent.” I started to cry as I recognized the value he saw in me and how my “talents” could be used to grow a life, a school, a business, God’s Kingdom.

Little did I know how God would use those gifts when I said, “Yes,” to pastoral ministry. God has set me down in the middle of many places where I’ve been able to love people for Jesus’ sake.

Dan Augsburger, College Friend

During my first two years in College, Dan was the president of the religious arm of the Student Association: ACYA, (Andrews Christian Youth in Action). Even though Dan was an upper classman, because of my leadership with the spiritual activities on campus, Dan and I were in the same friend group. (Also, Dan’s dad, Dr. Augsburger, taught my 7:30 a.m. Life and Teachings of Jesus course my first semester at Andrews. We had many parties at the Augsburger Home.)

One day Dan, a friend Dave, and I were returning from a trip to town and were driving toward Westwood Drive near the home of Dan’s parents. (I’m specific about the location because it was another one of those defining moments.) As usual, we were having a spiritual conversation. This time it was about a book that talked about salvation. I remember sitting on the edge of the back seat with my elbows propped over the front bench seat as we talked. (No seat belt.) I recall saying:

“Are you telling me that there’s nothing, nothing we can/must do in order to be saved?”

The response: “That’s right. Nothing. Salvation is a gift.”

Yes, I had had this conversation with Duane Anderson, my Bible teacher at TJA, but now I was older with a greater recognition of sin and my unworthiness. I think this is a conversation we will likely have often because human nature (and the devil) makes us believe we must earn what we get.

During that car conversation, I remember being overwhelmed with a sense of God’s love and the deepening desire to give Him everything. It was that year that I stumbled across Romans 12. That chapter became my go-to place for learning how I could live out a life of gratitude to God. (You can learn more about the impact of Romans 12 by watching the video of the May 30 program and the sermon in 2020.)

David Brillhart, College Friend

Dave and I met at Freshman Orientation in 1976. We shared the same friend group as we were both involved with spiritual leadership on the campus.

One day after running the 1.6 mile loop round campus, we sat on the steps by old Burman Hall. Dave asked me what I had learned in my time with God that morning. I admitted that that morning, I hadn’t had worship. Dave gently chided me saying that I should always be prepared to give an answer, to give a reason/testimony for my hope, to be able to share something fresh from God’s word. He said that he would ask me the same question the next day. I made sure I spent time in worship the next morning, and the next . . .

At the end of the school year, before I headed off to work at New Frenda for Summer camp (Port Carling, Ontario) Dave gave me a copy of a book called, The Great Controversy. He encouraged me to read it over the Summer and share with him what I learned. I made a pledge to God that I would give Him one hour every day, and asked Him to take me deeper in His word so that I would have something fresh each day to share with others.

As I read from the book Dave had given me, I looked up every Scripture that was referenced. It was a like a treasure hunt as one text led to another, and then another, painting this beautiful, yet often heart-breaking picture of God’s efforts to rescue this planet and me. One day I looked at the clock and noticed that three hours had gone by while I had been reading the book and searching the Scriptures.

The next Fall, Dave gave me a book called, The Desire of Ages. I hungrily read it every day. My friendship with Dave, and his gift of these two books, contributed to what has become a lifelong habit of intentionally spending time with God every day. Yes, there’ve been dry seasons, but the memory of the depth and joy I experienced that Summer, pulls me out of the barren lonely place to experience companionship with God again.

Having the accountability of a friend, a mentor, a small group, can provide intentional discipleship.

William Richardson, Greek Professor

Dr. Richardson was the professor who wouldn’t give me a “zero” on a quiz when I requested it.

One evening, after a daily Greek quiz, I was with my evening prayer group and some words kept speaking in my head, “What does it profit a woman if she gains an A in Greek but loses her soul.”

It had happened this way. During the morning quiz, I was stuck on just one vocabulary word. While thinking and looking at the clock, the window, the walls, the ceiling, I saw the answer on another student’s paper. I wrote it down. I justified my “cheating” by rationalizing that I had known the answer, I just hadn’t recalled it yet. But that evening in my prayer group, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and I determined to talk with the teacher the next day.

With apprehension, I went early to class. Who wants to admit they cheated. It’s a very humbling experience. Nervously, I poured out my story of how the Holy Spirit had convicted me while praying. Then I asked him to give me a zero on that quiz. He said, Esther, giving you a zero would bring down your grade average. You’re a good student. I’d like to remove that quiz instead of giving you a zero.

Such unmerited favor has continued to impact my life. “Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that is greater than all our sin.”

John Berecz, Professor of Psychology

Dr. Berecz taught a course dealing with behavior modification and I think I had to take it as part of my teacher certification. The class had a lab period where we sat on the floor in a circle.

Early in the quarter, during one lab period, we went around the circle and had to say something that we liked. The students responded by saying things like: “I like chocolate ice cream.” “I like to ski in the Winter.” “I like macaroni and cheese.” After we had all responded, Dr. Berecz asked us to reflect on how the group had answered the question. He commented that people pretty much gave “safe” answers. People nodded in agreement. Then he asked, “Did Esther give a safe answer?” I had said, “I like to talk about Jesus.” The class concluded that that was NOT a “safe” answer (even in an Adventist school).

I often reflect on that moment when I’ve had a choice about how intentional to be about my interactions. I choose to move beyond safety while still being a winsome and contagious Adventist.

Seminary Students, Bible Study

As an undergraduate I had many friends in the Seminary. One of the reasons for that is because I owned an electric typewriter and could type. My knowledge base was expanded by the Seminary papers I typed for friends and for hire.

One Friday evening, I joined a group of Seminary friends who were having worship in the old Lake Union Building on College Ave. (now Griggs Hall). The topic was on Bible prophecy and the Second Coming of Jesus. One of the Seminary students said that according to Bible prophecy, it would be a least three and a half years before Jesus came back. Many of us were shocked at this “revelation.” How could it possibly be so long until Jesus would return? A few of us wept and were distraught by what seemed to be so long. Surely this student was wrong.

I include this snippet here because I long to recapture that time when I really desired Jesus to return, when my heart was broken because His coming seemed delayed.

In reality, Jesus will always come in our lifetime. The Bible compares death to sleep. When we die, the next thing we’ll know, is Jesus waking us at the Second Coming.

Don Noble, Friend

Don was a masters student when I was an undergraduate. He checked IDs and sold meal tickets for the Cafeteria.

Many times as Don and I talked, I’d learn about some other job experience he’d had in his past—from being a mortician to being a pilot in the Air Force. He’d also been a Bible teacher. While at Andrews, Don kept getting job offers. In jest, I’d often ask Don for his autograph since he was in such high demand.

Because of his education, life experience, people skills, and commitment to the message and mission of the Adventist Movement, in 1982 Don was hired to run Maranatha (Volunteers International). Because of our friendship, Maranatha was my first experience with a church building project. That trip took me to Belize, where I began my friendship with Ronald Alan Knott, who later became my husband.

For graduation, Don gave me the book, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity: A Commitment to Excellence by Charles R. Swindoll. Don modeled the values of this book. And, I finally got Don’s autograph when he wrote in the front of the book.

Valerie Phillips, Hospital Chaplain and Dean of Women

I became acquainted with Valerie Phillips while she was working as one of the first female chaplains at Battle Creek Sanitarium Hospital (1978-1980). At the beginning of my Senior year at Andrews, I had just changed my major to Religion and was invited to meet with the (few) female Seminary students. Val was the speaker. She spoke about the joys of her calling and of the challenges she faced as the first female chaplain in her hospital. She said the following words that have shaped my own ministry:

“Change won’t come by women screaming about their rights, but by the quality of their work.” 

I got permission to have Val come and speak for our first Lamson Hall “Womanhood Week.” Later that school year, Arlene Friestad, dean of women, asked Val to come and work on the residence hall staff. For 31 years Valerie blessed our campus with her ministry and by the quality of her work.

Valerie died on December 18, 2011 at the age of 56, but her words continue to live.

Rebecca Pippert (Molenhouse), Evangelist

I first became aware of Becky in the early 80’s while working as a campus chaplain at Andrews University. She had written the now classic book on evangelism: Out of the Saltshaker. The first time I heard Becky speak, was via a film reel. I was inspired by Becky’s love for Jesus, her intentionality in sharing the gospel, and her competence.

Years later while I was a pastor in Maryland, I got to be in a Bible study group on the Book of Acts that was led by Becky. She has since spoken for my women’s retreats and at my churches. We have used her material in our small groups. You’ll often hear me say two things I learned from Becky:

1. God calls us to EXPOSE people to what we believe, not to IMPOSE it on them.

   (It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to bring conviction and conversion.)

2. As Christians, in our conversations to grow the Kingdom, we are engaging in the life-giving activities of:

   CULTIVATING the soil,

   PLANTING the seed, or

   REAPING the harvest.

   CPR for eternal life.

Joyce Laurent, Baptist Pastor’s Wife

I met Joyce in the mid-80’s through her husband Bob, a Baptist minister who was attending Andrews University for his doctoral degree in Religious Education. Bob and I shared a couple of classes.

This couple took pity on me as a poor graduate student and paid for me to attend my very first women’s retreat. When Joyce invited me, she excitedly informed me that they’d be more than 3,000 women attending. At first I wasn’t sure that that was a selling point for me. But I took her up on their generous offer to include me.

When Joyce and I got on the bus with the other women from her church the experience began. A woman prayed for us and for our families and that God would do something incredible for each of us. I started crying. I remember crying a lot that weekend. Somehow the message I kept getting was that God loved me so much, not IN SPITE of the fact that I was a woman, but BECAUSE I was a woman. I didn’t realize that I needed that message.

Whenever I attend or plan a women’s retreat I remember Joyce and her friends with deep gratitude and I try to replicate that prayer.

Debbie Pontynen (Godt), Friend

We all need friends who will walk with us through good times and bad. I met Debbie (Case) in 1983 when I was in grad school and later working as a campus chaplain. She invited me to my first small group and we ended up sharing life together. Deb mentored me in developing as a godly professional woman. That time of friendship, going deep with Jesus, and developing a positive sense of who I am in Christ, helped to prepare me for a tragedy that was ahead.

It was the evening of May 11 of 1987, Deb and I had just finished serving cookies to the students in Lamson Hall. I had waited until now to tell her what had happened that afternoon. My then husband had taken me to the lake and told me that he didn’t want to be married anymore. He didn’t want to have anything to do with God or anything that reminded him of God. Amidst my tearful retelling of the story, Debbie said, “Esther, you are resilient. You will get through this.” God had equipped Debbie to help me during each stage of grief, to understand that what I was feeling was normal and legitimate. When I felt like a cast aside dirty dish rag, she helped me see my infinite value.

God has used this unwanted part of my journey to help me minister with greater empathy and wisdom.

Arlene Friestad, Dean of Women

Miss Friestad was the dean of women at Andrews University who hired me in 1976 to be a Resident Hall Advisor when I was a 17-year-old Freshman. I worked for her 20 hours a week, for four years as an RA, plus helped with bulletin boards, worships, and dorm programming.  This work environment provided the opportunity to develop spiritual leadership and to learn about people.

By her walk, she also taught us to leave a room, a hallway better than we found it. She always looked around, and as she walked she picked up paper, straightened a photo, removed an expired announcement. She taught the spiritual discipline of order.

Years later, when Miss Friestad learned that I was a pastor, she said, “For a woman to succeed she has to work twice as hard as a man. Fortunately, that’s not too difficult.” (See quote section.) While that quote is a bit humorous, Miss Friestad worked very hard. She faithfully served more than 6,000 women during her career as a dean. I was blessed to be one of them.

When I returned to Andrews University in 1997 to be a Pastor at Pioneer Memorial Church, Arlene was still living in the community. I had the privilege to serve as her pastor and visit her in her home numerous times, until she died at the age of 90 on November 16, 2010.

Edward Reid, Stewardship Director, North American Division

I was living in Maryland, when I attended one of Ed Reid’s stewardship seminars. At the time, I was having trouble financially. Ed challenged us to live debt free and return a faithful tithe and offering. Sadly, when I was in financial trouble, I had stopped trusting God, stopped returning tithe, and only paid those companies who were threatening bad consequences for non-payment. After Ed’s seminar, I was determined to become debt free, return a faithful tithe, AND return to God the back tithe that I owed Him. (You can read the full story in Over and Over Again, Volume 2.)

I created a plan with my creditors, making regular payments and returning 11% in tithe. By the time I married Ron, I was debt free except for my 3-year-old Mazda, which was paid off one year after we were married.

Ed also gave us good advice as a married couple. Since 2006, (16 years after we were married) we’ve been living debt free. Yes, there were sacrifices along the way to achieve this goal, but we had Kingdom priorities. Being debt free allows us to be larger conduits of God’s blessings. The 11% has tripled.

George Gainer, Pastor/Chaplain

George was a chaplain at CUC, (now Washington Adventist University) in Takoma Park, Maryland. He had a deep love for God and for the discipleship of his students. We worked together so I got to observe George on a regular basis.

George was biblically grounded and could also ask penetrating questions that quickly got to the heart of an issue. He had emotional intelligence and often invited us to address the emotional tensions during staff meeting before moving on.

I would frequently see George walk up to a student and say, “How are you and Jesus doing today?” He had this easy, casual way about him that made talking about Jesus as natural as talking about the last class period.

In relation to a choice of careers, George would often ask, “What do you believe God’s calling you to do with your life?”

I’ve used George’s questions often in my ministry and they have proven to be a blessing to me and the one I’ve asked.

Deacon

It was a few months after I’d arrived at my new church. I had a mixture of excitement and nervousness as I reviewed my sermon for the morning. I wanted to do well.

Minutes before I was about to enter the platform with the elders, a deacon called me over to tell me something. I thought he was going to say something like, “I’m praying for you today.” Instead he said, “Many of us don’t want you here. A woman shouldn’t be preaching. And not a divorced woman. You shouldn’t be a pastor.” Blinking back the tears that started to form, I said, “I’m sorry,” and I walked numbly onto the platform. As I started to sing the worship hymn God helped me to forget the mean-spirited comment, and to remember that it was His Spirit who called me.

A few Sabbaths later, it was communion Sabbath. (In Adventist churches, this is typically celebrated four times a year.) As soon as I walked into the church, this same deacon asked to talk with my husband and me. He said that he understood that a person should prepare for Communion Sabbath by making things right before participating. He apologized for his previous comments to me and humbly asked for our forgiveness.

Over the years, this deacon became one of my biggest advocates and he showed great love for my family, including letting my daughter know she was free to access the deacons’ stash of Brazilian candy.

Margaret Potts, Church Member

Though Margaret appeared to be a small, somewhat frail older lady she was tenacious with a kind and generous heart toward others. So when she faced a health crisis, people were willing to jump in and help her.

I took my turn driving Margaret to and from her chemo treatments—not because there was a shortage of volunteers, but because I treasured the time we had together and the wisdom she shared from her walk with Jesus.

One afternoon, I walked into Margaret’s house and found some tall barren brown stems in a large vase of water. When I questioned her about them, she said that she loved to see the forsythia bloom because they signaled Spring. She didn’t think she’d live to see Spring this year, so by bringing the stems inside, she would force them to bloom early and Spring would come to her one last time.

About a week or two later, I was beside Margaret as she was taking her last breaths. My eyes caught some brilliant yellow in the corner of the living room. There, stood the forsythia in full bloom, like a sentry of promise.

Every time I see forsythia in the Spring I remember Margaret. And as the forsythia wave their fiery branches they are heralding the soon coming of our King and Margaret’s resurrection to eternal Spring.

Jim Kesterke, Former Chief of Police in Berrien Springs

I live in a small town and it’s been great to have Jim Kesterke, (now retired) Chief of Police in my phone contacts.

While Jim was the chief, if I’d hear a siren or see a car accident and wonder if one of my members was involved, I knew that Jim would alert me.

Jim connected me with the county sheriff, Paul Bailey, who helped me serve the wider community by approving my applicaiton to visit in the local jail. Sheriff Bailey helped me get in (and out of) the jail to visit people even when the jail was closed to the pubic.

About 35 years ago, Jim was called to a domestic dispute and had to arrest a man in his home on Christmas Eve. Jim recalls that in that home, he saw no evidence of the joy of Christmas. That evening Jim and and his wife Sheri took some of their gifts and their Christmas turkey dinner to the home for the wife and child who was close to the age of their own daughter. This led to a community ministry called “Christmas Care “where more than 300 families are served each Christmas season with food and gifts. Jim and Sheri are a great blessing to this community.

I’ve been personally “blessed” by this friendship. ONCE, while driving through town, I received a phone call. Jim’s voice was on the other end saying, “This is Big Brother, you need to slow down.” Jim and I still quibble about this phone call.

Stan Beikmann, Landscape Designer and Horticulturist

He called me a gardener.

Many years ago Stan came to our house to help us with some landscape designs. As he observed the flower and shrub garden he asked who was the gardener. I was a bit confused because we couldn’t afford to have a gardener. Seeing my confusion, he asked, “Who tied down the daffodils and weeded this garden?” I responded that I had. He said, “Then you’re the gardener.”

I grew up in an apartment building in Toronto with no garden. A few years prior to this, I had “weeded out” some of my mother-in-laws prized lilies that we had transplanted from Massachusetts to Maryland. It was apparent to all that I was no gardener. YET this man whom I admired and respected saw in me something I could not see in myself. He saw that I was (or could be) a gardener.

Stan’s knowledge and skill in horticulture has taught me many spiritual lessons over the years. Recently I was trying to start some new plant colonies from things already growing on our property. I sent Stan a photo of a plant with beautiful intricate leaves to find out what he thought about me using them. He responded, “They will make your neighbors wheeze and sneeze in a few weeks. It’s western ragweed. Pretty leaves—bad invasive plant!” I destroyed all I could find. I was grateful to have a friend who knew more than I did and could point out what I should stay away from.

The things in this world that seem attractive to us can often becomes the things that negatively invade our lives. Oh that I would follow the advice of “The Gardner” more readily.

With Stan’s coaching, I can now say, “I am a gardener” kinda.

Garren and Bonnie Dent, Business Owner and Teacher

Garren is the owner of our local Village Do It Best hardware store and at the time of this story, Bonnie was a teacher in the Physical Therapy Department at Andrews University.

One evening I discovered that Garren and Bonnie had hired a babysitter so they could attend our Contagious Adventist training seminar. I was amazed at their commitment and asked them about it. Bonnie said, “If a student attends Andrews University and doesn’t grow spiritually, then we’ve failed.” She wanted to learn how to do her part so the school would not get a failing grade in its mission.

As I pondered her statement, it became internalized into the intentional way I choose to do ministry. I rewrote the statement as follows: “If a person attends ______ church and we don’t provide the opportunity for them to grow spiritually, then we’ve failed.” My job was to provide the opportunity, the Holy Spirit would do the job of convicting and converting. Providing the opportunity for spiritual growth was about more than providing a great sermon. This conviction led to developing small groups where discipleship, friendships , and accountability occur.

One year, our congregation went from having 200-300 people in small groups to having 800 people join a group. This was a result of wanting to be intentional about providing the opportunity for our students, and our members, like Bonnie, to grow spiritually.

Jay Gallimore, Michigan Conference President

When people learn that I was a pastor in Michigan, I’m often asked, “How did you survive?” I love that question because I get to tell them about how I thrived, because of the gracious administration, pastors and people in Michigan Conference. I’m especially grateful for the man who was my conference president for 16 years.

A yearly ritual at camp meeting is the ordination of pastors. When I moved to the Michigan Conference I had already been approved for ordination and had been commissioned in the Potomac Conference (1996) where commissioned ministers participate in the ordination services. I asked Jay how he felt about me participating in the ordination services of my male colleagues. He said I’d be welcome to join the other pastors on the platform and that in the Bible it was the church members who “laid their hands” on those who were being set apart for a special work.

Jay communicated to me through his words and his actions that he believed that God called women to pastoral ministry. With Jay’s support I served for 15 years as a very engaged member of the conference executive committee and Jay gave me numerous opportunities to thrive as a spiritual leader.

Even though Jay and I had different views on the ordination of women we had mutual respect for one another and didn’t let that difference define our relationship. His attitude and actions have kept me loving my Church even as we walk together sorting things out.

Lessons from one Sinner to Another

I was studying with a young man who was an alcoholic. He didn’t think he had a drinking problem; only his friends and family thought he had a problem.

One day in my frustration with his broken promises, I blurted out, “Why can’t you just stop drinking!” In that moment God gently asked me, “Esther, why can’t YOU just stop sinning?”

I wanted to argue that my sin was different, but how do you argue that in the face of a holy God. I expected my friend to take seriously his sin when I wasn’t taking seriously my sin.

I’m grateful that God doesn’t reveal my growth areas all at once—I would be overwhelmed. I’m glad that He offers not only pardon from sin but also power to overcome sin. He offers freedom.

This man who is now “once an alcoholic,” was used by God to gave me a shocking picture of myself and greater empathy for those struggling with sins that are different than mine. When I see a growth area in someone else, I’ve learned to ask myself, in what ways is my need for growth similar?

Adventist Education and Friends (Grades 4-12)

I was eight years old when my family moved from England to Canada. One primary reason to cross the ocean was so that my sister and I could attend an Adventist school.

In the last eight years I’ve been able to reconnect with some of these childhood friends and reflect on the shared journey we had and how Adventist education shaped us. There’s something about growing older that causes us to want to reconnect with those who’ve known us during the formative times in our life. I think that’s why the attendance at class reunions grows the further away the date of our graduation.

I don’t know if I’ll come back to write more in this section but some of the friends (in alphabetical order) who shaped me spiritually are: Darlene, Donna, Faith, Janice, Jayne, Leli, Preeti, Rosie, and Vicki. Together we planned worships and parties, hiked, painted and cleaned the school, shared photos, listened to records, dreamed, sang all the way through the hymnal on a road trip, studied, learned about love and forgiveness, believed we could change the world.

Early Adventist Education included the influence of teachers like Garth and Jackie Juriansz, Ralph and Connie Janes, Tom Chittick, and Brian Townsend. Ingrid Johnson, Dan Kline, and Bob Baker.

Darlene, Leli, and Susie, Roommates 527

Room 527 in Lamson Hall was my home for three years while attending Andrews University and that room became a sacred space—a house of prayer.

One of my best spiritual memories of that room is when it was shared with Leli, Darlene and Susie during my second year of college. We were all suite mates; there was a bathroom between our two rooms. We bunked the beds and moved them all into one room and dedicated 527 as a place for study and prayer. We knelt on the little green rug (our prayer mat) and asked God to fill that space with His presence and that when people walked through the door they would find peace.

I was the Resident Hall Advisor and would leave the room unlocked so that students on the hall could come in and sign-out the vacuum cleaner when they needed it.

One day I came into the room and found a dorm resident just sitting in the room. She said that she felt a sense of peace/Divine presence when she was in this space. She had previously been in the room for one of our impromptu prayer sessions. The four of us “roommates” had been about to pray, but one of us suggested that we see if there was anyone in the hall who wanted to join us. We had opened the door, and finding this young woman in the hall, we had invited her to join us. She accepted, and then returned to the space on her own. (Yes, I know that today, most of us would not leave our rooms unlocked. Back then we really didn’t have many things of monetary value. No computers etc. Maybe our textbooks were the most expensive things we owned.)

That year the four of us searched for peace ourselves as we dealt with the typical college angsts of boyfriends, money for college, exams, why was Jesus taking so long to come back, an upcoming spiritual life event, and friends who were not walking with Jesus.

I think I’ll write a note each year and slip it under door 527 encouraging the current residents to make that space a house of prayer.

(The four of us also planned the banquet that year. The theme was based on the four seasons with four stages. That was also a real bonding time for us.)

Doug Vardell, CPE Supervisor

I finally got to take a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) and Doug Vardell, was my skilled and compassionate CPE supervisor at Bronson Hospital in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

CPE at its best is a spiritual journey. My best analogy comes from the four seasons. In the Fall and Winter when the leaves are off the trees you’re able observe things that you could not when the limbs were covered. You see the structure of the tree, plus things on the landscape that the leave-laden branches were hiding.

CPE is an invitation, where for a season, with a group of people we learn to trust, we shed our leaves and explore stories of what has made us who we are. We see twisted limbs, straight strong branches, scars and cuts. Sometimes those who are walking with us help us see things that we’ve missed along the way.

After the journey of the shed leaves, we’re able to bloom again, with better foliage. We’re able to provide a safer place for others as they shed their leaves for a season.

My CPE unit was a time of tremendous spiritual growth. I was the only Adventist in my group of seven and grew to cherish my faith even more. This group of people walked with me as I discovered surprisingly new and challenging things about myself, my life, and my history. A re-discovery of grace.

Ronald Alan Knott, Husband

At the time of this writing Ron and I have been married for 30 years. It has been said, that the three most important decisions in your life are: choosing Jesus, choosing your spouse, and choosing your career/finding your calling. Ron has indeed helped me to continue to choose Jesus and to fulfill my calling.

It’s been through a 1,000 big and little ways that Ron has reflected Jesus to me.

When you’ve been through a divorce, as I had, you know that you’re not someone’s perfect dream of who they will marry. Yet, Ron’s words to me one day, had a way of making me feel all the more wonderful because of what had brought me through. “You mean that with all you’ve been through, you would choose to marry me.”

Generosity and He saw ME as a gift. Difficulties with church policy, committed to the message of the church. See Calvin Rock quote.

The light on in the mornings—worship.

Ramnarine and Alice Ramharacksingh, Dad and Mom

When people would meet my mother, they’d say, “You look just like your mom.” After they’d spent time with my dad, they’d say, “You’re just like your father.

When my dad became a Christian—a Seventh-day Adventist Christian—his whole life changed. He’d been raised as a Hindu. Finding the one true God brought him the greatest reason for living and for sharing his faith. My dad lived intentionally. He never knew a stranger. Every conversation had a purpose. I was blessed to have this godly man as my father. He once said to me, you can’t share the gospel if you don’t know how to smile, open your mouth, and say “hello” to people.

My mom had the gift of hospitality. Every Friday my mom prepared a special meal for Sabbath. Often we’d go to church, not knowing who would join us for Sabbath lunch but we knew we’d find someone to invite home. Many guests passed through our home and our lives were enriched. My parents kept a guest book which they only occasionally remembered to have guests sign. (Ron and I have had guest books in our home since we got married in 1990. We faithfully remember to have our guests sign the current book. In 2013 we noted that more 4,000 signatures were in our books.)

Mom’s gift of hospitality made our home a welcoming place. When my friends dropped in for Saturday night games, the kitchen doors would swing open as mom brought in a platter of food. She could make a delicious meal or snack out of whatever was in the house. I wanted to “grow up” to be just like her.

They say that your first impressions of God are based on what your parents are like. Well, I have no excuse not to see God as someone who is loving , trustworthy, and has my best interests in mind.

In 1980, on graduation weekend from my undergraduate degree at Andrews University, my mom told me she’d pay for me to go back to school and get a different degree. She didn’t want me to experience disappointment and hurt and was concerned that I wouldn’t find a place to work being a pastor. My dad on the other hand said, “Esther, a woman’s place is in her Father’s business.” (Both my earthly father and my Heavenly Fathers’ business—for me they were one and the same.)

My mom died suddenly of a heart attack in 2003. Five years later, in September of 2008 we were told that my dad’s cancer had returned and he had two to three months to live. He died at 7:07 p.m. on December 7 at the age of 77. Dad showed me how a godly person faces death and because he left me a rich spiritual heritage, I throw myself into the work of the Master knowing that nothing I do for Him is a waste of time or effort.

When my name is in print, I like it to be written like this: Esther R. Knott. Including the initial “R” is my tribute to my maiden name and my parents who I plan to see at the Resurrection, soon.

Ellen Brady, Sister

My sister, Ellen, is 16 months older than I am. For 25 years she chose a path different than the faith of our parents. Ellen was the regular focus of our prayers. Over the years I’ve asked my small group members to hold me accountable to show my love to my sister on a regular basis. It was important to be intentional because I was 14 when I went away to boarding school at Kingsway College in Oshawa, Ontario. These were the years that normally would have provided the opportunity for sisters to grow closer. Instead, we were each closer to our friends, than to each other.

Nevertheless, I prayed. My parents prayed. After I was married, Ron and I prayed. After our daughter was born, each Friday we lit a candle and prayed for each of our siblings family’s, praying that they and we, would love Jesus more.

One day my dad called me and said, “Ellen’s back.” My sister had called my dad and said, “Daddy, you and Mom are the best parents I could’ve ever had. Daddy, I know that I’m a sinner.” My godly father responded, “Ellen, so am I.” My tears began to flow and I couldn’t stop crying. My daughter came into the room and said, “Mommy, what’s wrong.” I responded, “It’s okay, Olivia; nothing’s wrong. Everything is finally right.”

When I later spoke with my sister I told her that now I could pray for Jesus to come back. She responded that we had to wait for Steven, her son, to accept Jesus.

I know that other parents, grandparents, and siblings are praying for family members. I choose to help answers those prayers as God leads these “children” into my sphere of influence.

If you are one of those who are praying, don’t give up. I’m praying with you.

Olivia Ruiz-Knott, Daughter

Children teach us so much about God’s love for us.

Ron and I were married when we were 30. When we decided to have a child, I said to God that it would nice to have a child before I turned 35. During that time we discovered that I had severe endometriosis and that it was preventing me from getting pregnant. Surgery cleared that up and three months later I was pregnant.

The doctor said the due date for the baby was May 26. On May 17, I would be turning 35. I thanked God and told Him that was close enough (the baby would come nine days after I turned 35, not before). As it turned out, our precious little girl came two weeks early and she was born on May 11. (It struck me that there was something familiar about that date but I didn’t pursue it.) God had heard my prayer—I had a healthy child before I turned 35.

Three years after Olivia was born, we moved back to Berrien Springs, Michigan. A few weeks later, a mom asked me to give a presentation about healing after a divorce. As I was preparing for that presentation I wept because God revealed to me an unnoticed gift He had given me three years before.

This is how I imagine it. God was in heaven and one day he said to a group of His closet angels, “I see my daughter Esther down there. What gift can we give her?” Then one angel, my personal guardian angel—who knows me best and has walked with me through so much, says, “I have an idea. Remember that no good, horrible, very bad day in May when her previous husband told her that he didn’t want to be married anymore. Let’s take that date and make it a day of celebration instead of a day of sadness.” All agreed.

So at 3:15 a.m. on May 11, they rejoiced when Olivia was born. You know how it is when you give someone a present and you watch to see their reaction to the gift. Well, I think the angels might have been doing the same thing, but I missed part of gift. Indeed, the main gift was Olivia, but the bonus gift was the date.

Olivia, now known to most as “Livvy,” has contributed much to my own spiritual journey.

I believe that every person who becomes a parent has had their prayer life increase exponentially as our prayers focus more outwardly.

Here are some examples from Olivia’s pre-school days:

One Friday evening I was up a little late reviewing a sermon about prayer that I was to give the next morning. I hadn’t gone to Livvy’s room to tuck her in at the usual time. Her dad had done that. Finally, I snuck into her room and in the darkness I heard her sweet little voice say, “Jesus.” I looked around the room, it was as though I had walked in on a conversation Livvy was having with Jesus. It felt like Jesus was close to listen to this precious child—my child, actually His chilld. Oh, how I loved Him in that moment.

Children have such faith. Many times when facing a big or small issue, Livvy would say, “Mommy let’s pray.” Once, I was struggling to open a small wooden box. Livvy said, “Mommy, let’s pray.” In my heart I felt that that wasn’t something I’d normally pray about—we’d have to just figure it out by ourselves (or wait until Ron came home). However, you can’t tell your child, “Honey, that’s not something we should ask God to help us with.”

On another occasion, Livvy came across me sitting on the stairs massaging a pain in my shoulder. She put her little hand on my shoulder and said, “Mommy, let’s pray.” Then she prayed a beautiful prayer asking God to help Mommy feel better.

On a walk, we came across a neighbor who intently weeding her rock garden. I remembered hearing that her son had recently committed suicide, so I stopped to comfort her. I knelt beside the neighbor and joined her in the weeding as we talked. Livvy knelt beside me. Soon we got up and headed back to our house. On the way home, Livvy said, “Mommy, why didn’t you pray with that lady?” I told Livvy the truth. I couldn’t remember the ladies name and didn’t want to just say, “God please bless my ‘sister” or my “neighbor.” Livvy told me that that wasn’t a very good reason. She, or course, was right and by this time I had remembered the woman’s name. I walked back to the house and said to the woman that I had come back to pray with her. She responded by saying, “But you did pray with me.” I said I hadn't. She insisted that I had. I didn’t want to argue with her. We gave each other a hug as she thanked me for praying with her. On the way home I realized that sometimes “prayer” is not with words. It can be our compassionate presence that brings someone into God’s presence.

Now Olivia is an adult. She’s married and she and her husband—Ivan—are discovering her own journey with God. Like any parent, that journey keeps me on my knees.